Sunday, May 23rd, 2010.
From the mind of Mike Phelan O’Toole:
Hi. Thanks for checking out the site. I know I have done a pretty poor job of adding new writings on here. A lot of stuff is sitting on my computer, or in my email account – as much as I love doing the talking shows, updating and storytelling, when it comes to straight prose, I get stuck. I still very much look at writing as art, and if you have checked out all the stuff that is online, or collected in notebooks and the like, I often am either doing poetry, or start with prose and, on it’s own, it becomes prose-poetry. I am completely in love with verbiage – the written and the spoken word, and often I get hungup on crafting, and wordsmithing. With these blogs/updates, I am going to try to keep editing to a minimium, and focus on straight forward communication, in an effort to simply stay in touch, or document the comings-and-goings on my end. I have been keeping a mostly-prose journal with me when I go out since November of 2009, but then it will be another project to get it typed up for use in anything. I went the notebook route, because I don’t have a laptop, and I always felt/feel that my writing comes out better when handwritten. I started poetry around age ten – teachers loved it, and I got my first press piece in the superintendent’s notes newsletter in 5th grade. “It is good day for a love story: the hero is fifth grader Michael O’Toole…” From about 2001 until around ‘06/’07, I wrote a tone poetry stuff in sprial-bound notebooks. The nonsense I typed online is not even half of it. I wrote a poem or three almost all through high school. Anyway, the intensity between the lines is what means the most.
This past Friday, at BATV, I helped setup, P.A. and shoot the second in a series of rock shows inside the station. In almost ten years crewing on community television stuff, this is the best thing I’ve assisted on. It certainly has the most heart, and potential. My heart breaks every time I partake in a project with great hope, only to see momentum smash to the ground. I was running on about 4 hours of sleep for that shoot, so Saturday was a blur – just woke up late, and worked out pretty hard. I’m seeing some new gains from the workouts. Today, Sunday, I went into Boston and walked around, then went to the movies – saw MacGruber. Friggin’ nonsense – but I love the travel and checking things out. Exhaustion and story or two is all I want to get out of it. On the way home, I saw Tyescha, a student who was in the studio production class I helped out with at BATV.Training in improv has contributed to my getting more comfortable around folks. Got some smiles froma girl who worked at the theatre. Wanted to speak with her, as usual. No dice,
I got some behind-the-scenes video of the big setup for the music gig at the station. I really am looking to finally get a quick cut of a video-blog up. I have wanted to get something like that done for a long time, in addition to other things. Oftentimes, in recent years, I have been inspired by others, and in working with them, so I wait for them to team up with me on stuff, but we all can never get on the same page. As a result, nothing gets put out. That will stop this year. Things have started out well – I was onstage at ImprovBoston in January making a dream come true – did spoken word for a cool crowd. Folks came up to me after. I will edit that video soon and get it up for you as well. I hope it was not sucked into the matrix yet. Anyway, I am getting tired of others’ trying to define me, but I guess that’s the price you pay in getting involved with others. Thankfully most are cool, or I don’t waste my time with them. It is a lot of waste energy in thinking about that kind of stuff too much. I read a lot of stuff posted on social networking sites and the like that mentioned people having “haters” and all this bullshit. I always question why they would emphasize folks being negative like that, almost glorifying it. I know a tattooed and pierced girl, who kept mentioning being “punk,” and it did beg the question; “Who are you trying to convince?” I suppose though, if you don’t make an effort to define, or refine yourself, other, lesser folks enjoy doing it for you.
I hope to get these writings out there to clear stuff up and get thoughts out. I have to get a shower and put my head down so the day does not get blow’d up tomorrow. I am teaching a group of folks how to do some digital video editing on Tuesday, so I am looking forward to that. Even when I have problems with certain folks or situations, I am always thankful for being being offered the chance to kick out the jams and do what I do with other people.
I’ll try to disregard my previous belief that letting these writings hang longer allows them to viewed by more folks – I will update as often as I can, even if it is only a blurb, in between more formal essays and works. Thanks for reading this.
-Mike Phelan O’Toole